We had a blast in Orlando. Paudie was on top of the world - it was as if each day was better than the past. He was going full-tilt. By the time we got back, he was crashing big time. On the flight down, he was hella wriggly and antsy. Luckily there were lots of kids on board and a super sweet flight attendant who was more than happy to help entertain him and walk him around. On the flight back, he was asleep by take off. He of course had pooped about one minute before he fell asleep and I didn't have the heart to wake him, mostly cos I knew he would be verrry unhappy and I figured it better to smell poop in peace and quiet than to smell nothing in the midst of tears and shrieking. John was disgusted by the time we landed. In retrospect, it was rather foul - but hey, no diaper rash so no harm done.
But back to the trip. We did make it to Epcot one day - I thought it might be a little over his head, but he was quite good on the rides - most are slow moving, bright colors etc. He enjoyed a mickey ice cream bar and fish and chips over in fake Britain. He also got to run around a fair amount. The house we stayed at had a pool so he got to go for a few dips. Dip 1 he was really unsure of the whole thing but by Dip 2, he was delighted. We also spent some time at a nearby playground - he was up and down the slides many times. We were taken aback by his skills on the slide - much more advanced than what we saw in October, last time we saw him in playground action. Paudie also had loads of fun playing with his cousins, specifically, torturing his 2 year old cousin Shane. He was playing the annoying little brother role quite nicely. Everything Shane had, Paudie needed and was not shy about taking it off of him. They mostly played really well together and it was super cute to see their rapport.
We have lots of great photos - I will post some. Hopefully relatively soon.
The highlight of the trip, for me, was Paudie's enthusiasm. It was the first time I 'got it.' This is what it feels like to see your child be uber-happy. To see your child be uber-unhappy, that we knew pretty well. But to see a perma-grin for 4 days straight was something I did not expect and that made it even sweeter. I am so glad we went - not to mention the weather was perfect. I liken the whole experience, for Paudie, to the type of trip you take with friends when you are single - after like 6 nights of drinking and clubbing, you know you cant' take anymore and just need to go home. That was Paudie on the toddler level.
So he is getting back into his routine... I feel like his vocabulary is really progressing as the result of spending time with his cousins. While he speaks his own language, I assume it will be translated into words we understand at some point soon. It's so fun to listen to though. Clearly he thinks we know what he is saying - brilliant!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
giving my seasonal affective disorder a few days off
We are at t-minus two days for Florida. I am trying to be excited, but remain nervous about the plane ride. Paudie seems to be at full-health right now, so hopefully all will be fine. As you can see by the photo, we hit the zoo last Sunday. The weather was in the 40s so we decided it was a good day for some fresh air. Plus John heard on the news that the animals get lonely in the winter. Paudie had a good time - checked out the lion, tigers, zebras, sheep, gorillas and some random emu type birds amongst some interlopers. What cracked me up is how there were lots of people like us at the zoo that day - two parents, one kid. Bored singleton toddlers. What else cracked me up was how the other kids had on boots and snow pants. Not our one. I am so thick sometimes. It never occurred to me the zoo would have lots of puddles and slush and snow and sand. So there Paudie is in his suede sneaks and cords - he fell into mush and gunk many times. At one point as we were catching up mid-fall, his shirt went up to reveal lots of poop smushed all over his coin slot. And where was the diaper bag? Well back in the car of course. I really need to be more on top of the mommy thing. I figured that he had already pooped twice that day so weren't we good to go? Nope. So once we got back to the car he got a nice and breezy change in the trunk area. He was down with it.Paudie took a nice long nap when we got home - I thought he'd be all over the Puppy Bowl, but not so much.
Not much else going on - it's all about the trip. What to pack - long sleeves and short sleeves, sandals and socks, hoodies and shorts. And making everything fit into two bags. One thing I have noticed about what happens when you have to travel with kids - you never pack decent stuff for yourself. I agonize over his outfits but when it comes to me, I basically pick up whatever is on the floor, semi-clean, and toss it into my bag. Long gone are the days of traveling with my girlfriends and being so strategic with the going-out outfits. I'm probably one step away from mom-jeans.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
the winter of our discontent
January sure has been eye-opening for us as parents of a toddler. The notion of cabin fever has reached a whole new level. Clearly the weekends stuck inside of our 1920's colonial are making Paudie insane. And us as his parents. He has so much energy and there is really no place to go. When it is Monday morning and we take him to daycare he's all, so long morons.
Making matters worse is the fact that master Paudie has been sick and/or teething for about a week now. The night time screeching is almost more than I can handle. I sit there as it's 2:45, 3:30, 4:15 listening to him basically drag his nails down a vocal chalkboard and think, this could be worse. You are not in a tiny hospital room dealing with a living nightmare. That is my benchmark for a lot of things in life. But it's hard. When he is happy, he is sooo happy. When he is unhappy, there is no consoling him. He has been like that most of his life but the delta between his highs and lows right now is quite remarkable to me. It's like he has a split personality. I figure, or perhaps hope, that once he can speak things will get easier - yes, there will be tantrums but I truly look forward to the day he can tell me if it's his teeth that hurt or an empty tummy that is causing his dismay.
Of course in the midst of our angst we have booked tickets to Florida as well as Ireland. During his manic episodes this week I can't help but let my mind wander to the behavior on an airplane. I know, it will probably be fine and I am just an ameteur but come on, can you blame me? Um, remember last year's medical emergency on Flight 132 to Shannon Ireland that cause Paudie's now seemingly benign Goosebay breakdown?
I need to post some photos. I know. We have made some recent home IT infrastructure improvements that should facilitate posting.
Oh, something else I should mention is that Paudie has added 'Go Diego Go' to his expanding vocabulary. Not sure where it came from as to the best of my knowledge, he does not really watch the show. He's more of a Curious George fan. But if the TV is on and Dora appears, all you hear is 'gogeigodo.' He also has become quite skilled in identifying dogs. Cartoon, real, drawn... he's all about them. I think one is in our future, perhaps this spring. Let's face it, the boy needs a playmate.
Making matters worse is the fact that master Paudie has been sick and/or teething for about a week now. The night time screeching is almost more than I can handle. I sit there as it's 2:45, 3:30, 4:15 listening to him basically drag his nails down a vocal chalkboard and think, this could be worse. You are not in a tiny hospital room dealing with a living nightmare. That is my benchmark for a lot of things in life. But it's hard. When he is happy, he is sooo happy. When he is unhappy, there is no consoling him. He has been like that most of his life but the delta between his highs and lows right now is quite remarkable to me. It's like he has a split personality. I figure, or perhaps hope, that once he can speak things will get easier - yes, there will be tantrums but I truly look forward to the day he can tell me if it's his teeth that hurt or an empty tummy that is causing his dismay.
Of course in the midst of our angst we have booked tickets to Florida as well as Ireland. During his manic episodes this week I can't help but let my mind wander to the behavior on an airplane. I know, it will probably be fine and I am just an ameteur but come on, can you blame me? Um, remember last year's medical emergency on Flight 132 to Shannon Ireland that cause Paudie's now seemingly benign Goosebay breakdown?
I need to post some photos. I know. We have made some recent home IT infrastructure improvements that should facilitate posting.
Oh, something else I should mention is that Paudie has added 'Go Diego Go' to his expanding vocabulary. Not sure where it came from as to the best of my knowledge, he does not really watch the show. He's more of a Curious George fan. But if the TV is on and Dora appears, all you hear is 'gogeigodo.' He also has become quite skilled in identifying dogs. Cartoon, real, drawn... he's all about them. I think one is in our future, perhaps this spring. Let's face it, the boy needs a playmate.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
one year of blah-ging
Yes, I did start this blog a year ago with the intention that I would document every iota of young Padraig's life. Paudie drooled today! Paudie got his fifth tooth today!! mmmm not so much. What is wrong with me? Why can't I be better at this? Ugh. I guess I should be happy I have the entries I do as this is basically his baby book. Yarp, didn't do one of those either. I can't figure out why the death of Cian didn't inspire me to be more on top of things with Paudie. It's like it has had the opposite effect which I didn't really expect. But in my heart I know the truth. It's an ugly truth. But as the overused and overexposed expresstion goes... it is what it is.
And that is: that I just love Padraig more. Isn't that horrible? I liken it to a person who has a near death experience. They come out on the other side appreciating their life that much more. So in the case of Cian, I of course loved him - truly, madly and deeply. But that wasn't enough I guess. In the case of Paudie, I don't obsess over the small things. I just focus on loving him more than I ever thought possible. In some ways it would be easier to focus on a baby book.
So there you have it, the secret agony of a bereaved mom. Happy New Year!
Okay I'll move on to the mundane now and stop with the drama. We had a good Christmas. Celebrated with my family in NY. Paudie got some gifts he really loved - mini animal crackers were a hit, as were the plastic velcro-y veggies, a soft lounge chair like they have in daycare and a cart of toy cleaning items (okay so it's a pretend janitor cart that they boy is crazy about). Kota the dinosaur? Well that is going to take some time.
Then we had my best friend's wedding in Rhode Island on New Year's Eve. My niece came with us and stayed in the hotel with Paudie - I was nervous he would have issues. But it alll went off without a hitch. So we had a great night out (and hangovers for two days) and Paudie got to bond with his very responsible cous for a few days.
Daycare is going really well at the moment. Napping appears to no longer be an issue. And the bottle situation? Done and done. No more bottles. That was a resolution we had for 2009 and by day 2, conquered. Paudie is tops.
Tooth 6 is finally appearing - and possible 7 and 8. So nights have been rough. He is finally saying 'mama' with some consistency (and semi-accuracy). Other words are appearing as well - doggy, no, and 'get down' of course. That continues to be repeated a lot, particularly since climbing on top of the diner booth in our kitchen is his new obsession. He was also clearing a shelf of frames on a regular basis so John finally broke down and moved them to above our window molding. He was using his drill to secure them when low and behold, Master Paudie appeard with his toy drill to help out. I love those moments, the ones where it's like, he gets it! He knows what his drill is! Then he was walking around trying to hang greeting cards on the wall. Too cute.
So there you have it. 2009 is happening and it isn't so bad.
And that is: that I just love Padraig more. Isn't that horrible? I liken it to a person who has a near death experience. They come out on the other side appreciating their life that much more. So in the case of Cian, I of course loved him - truly, madly and deeply. But that wasn't enough I guess. In the case of Paudie, I don't obsess over the small things. I just focus on loving him more than I ever thought possible. In some ways it would be easier to focus on a baby book.
So there you have it, the secret agony of a bereaved mom. Happy New Year!
Okay I'll move on to the mundane now and stop with the drama. We had a good Christmas. Celebrated with my family in NY. Paudie got some gifts he really loved - mini animal crackers were a hit, as were the plastic velcro-y veggies, a soft lounge chair like they have in daycare and a cart of toy cleaning items (okay so it's a pretend janitor cart that they boy is crazy about). Kota the dinosaur? Well that is going to take some time.
Then we had my best friend's wedding in Rhode Island on New Year's Eve. My niece came with us and stayed in the hotel with Paudie - I was nervous he would have issues. But it alll went off without a hitch. So we had a great night out (and hangovers for two days) and Paudie got to bond with his very responsible cous for a few days.
Daycare is going really well at the moment. Napping appears to no longer be an issue. And the bottle situation? Done and done. No more bottles. That was a resolution we had for 2009 and by day 2, conquered. Paudie is tops.
Tooth 6 is finally appearing - and possible 7 and 8. So nights have been rough. He is finally saying 'mama' with some consistency (and semi-accuracy). Other words are appearing as well - doggy, no, and 'get down' of course. That continues to be repeated a lot, particularly since climbing on top of the diner booth in our kitchen is his new obsession. He was also clearing a shelf of frames on a regular basis so John finally broke down and moved them to above our window molding. He was using his drill to secure them when low and behold, Master Paudie appeard with his toy drill to help out. I love those moments, the ones where it's like, he gets it! He knows what his drill is! Then he was walking around trying to hang greeting cards on the wall. Too cute.
So there you have it. 2009 is happening and it isn't so bad.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Monday, December 22, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
fa ra ra ra ra
Tis the season. And I have no photo to post. Why is that? Because Snapfish blows. It used to be that any photos I uploaded to the service, I could easily copy and save, full-size, to my desktop. But not anymore. It only lets me save thumbnail sized photos. Booooo! Jerks. Henceforth, no recent photos of Paudie. Because I am blogging at work, pics are on home PC.
In other news...
We all survived Thanksgiving and are in fact going back for more on Tuesday. It's pretty exhausting for us at my parent's house. I don't think there is a more un-child proofed place we have ever been. Knick-knacks everywhere. Plus kleenex, a walker, a cane, a fireplace etc etc. Everyday we have to leave the house and go for a drive just to have some peace and some rest. But we are headed back and excited for Christmas - Paudie was such a blob last Christmas, this one should be much more interesting. Though he is still pretty clueless.
Paudie had his 15 month well visit last Monday. He had his last 'peace of mind' ultrasound at 5 months (to make sure nothing in his tummy that shouldn't be there) and it had been weighing on me that so much time had gone by without any additional proactive measures. Knowing that there is no way he'd tolerate another scan at this point in his life, I talked to Cian's oncologist about having a urine test done to check certain levels of things (sorry, don't know what they are) that NB tumors excrete - so the thinking is that a normal test means no tumor activity. But the test turns a lot of false positives and can be affected by diet. I had been toying with the idea of doing it for months and finally decided we would bring a sample in when he went for his shots. Subconsciously I knew we'd never get a sample and it would all be moot.
So to the appointment we go - no sample. Within one second of the nurse coming in the room, Paudie lost his shit. I mean, really, really, really lost it. She couldn't get near him to weigh or measure him at all. It was quite frightening to see how worked up he could get over really nothing. When the doc came in, the scenario repeated. We told them we had no sample and they said they would bag his peeper and try to get some, but it was unlikely given his state. But I'll be damned, they got themselves a decent sample. As soon as the nurse walked away with it I wanted to tackle her to get it back. But I didn't.
And so the urine was off to the lab. Truth be told, I didn't think about it too much until a week had gone by and no results. Then panic started to set in. I wasn't actually concerned he had cancer, it was more that the result was high and we'd opened a can of worms for him. And that yes, maybe he had cancer. A few weeks ago I was reading a letter to the editor in US News and World Report - they had recently done a cover story on the war against cancer. The letter was from a father talking about how lacking funds are for pediatric cancer research etc. He had not one, but two children with brain tumors. I read that and it's like, my heart breaks. For this man who has to endure hell with two of his beloved... and the fact that in theory, we could be halfway to his hell. I know it's sooo unlikely, but it's a unique feature of our little fam.
Anyhoo, we finally got the word yesterday, results well within normal range. Holy shit. I almost started to cry when I got the email. The weight I felt come off of me was huge.
So we are done with NB 'peace of mind' measures. We will just do our best to raise a healthy, happy little boy. I can't take the stress. There I said it.
Onto less dramatic happenings, we attempted Santa last night. Paudie was not having any of him. But when John sat down next to Santy, all was right with the world and we got an awesome picture. I will scan and post at some point.
So there you have it. 2008 is winding down and all in all, it's been quite a year. Some not so great things, and some really special moments. But we're in such a different place than we were two years ago, I really shant complain...
In other news...
We all survived Thanksgiving and are in fact going back for more on Tuesday. It's pretty exhausting for us at my parent's house. I don't think there is a more un-child proofed place we have ever been. Knick-knacks everywhere. Plus kleenex, a walker, a cane, a fireplace etc etc. Everyday we have to leave the house and go for a drive just to have some peace and some rest. But we are headed back and excited for Christmas - Paudie was such a blob last Christmas, this one should be much more interesting. Though he is still pretty clueless.
Paudie had his 15 month well visit last Monday. He had his last 'peace of mind' ultrasound at 5 months (to make sure nothing in his tummy that shouldn't be there) and it had been weighing on me that so much time had gone by without any additional proactive measures. Knowing that there is no way he'd tolerate another scan at this point in his life, I talked to Cian's oncologist about having a urine test done to check certain levels of things (sorry, don't know what they are) that NB tumors excrete - so the thinking is that a normal test means no tumor activity. But the test turns a lot of false positives and can be affected by diet. I had been toying with the idea of doing it for months and finally decided we would bring a sample in when he went for his shots. Subconsciously I knew we'd never get a sample and it would all be moot.
So to the appointment we go - no sample. Within one second of the nurse coming in the room, Paudie lost his shit. I mean, really, really, really lost it. She couldn't get near him to weigh or measure him at all. It was quite frightening to see how worked up he could get over really nothing. When the doc came in, the scenario repeated. We told them we had no sample and they said they would bag his peeper and try to get some, but it was unlikely given his state. But I'll be damned, they got themselves a decent sample. As soon as the nurse walked away with it I wanted to tackle her to get it back. But I didn't.
And so the urine was off to the lab. Truth be told, I didn't think about it too much until a week had gone by and no results. Then panic started to set in. I wasn't actually concerned he had cancer, it was more that the result was high and we'd opened a can of worms for him. And that yes, maybe he had cancer. A few weeks ago I was reading a letter to the editor in US News and World Report - they had recently done a cover story on the war against cancer. The letter was from a father talking about how lacking funds are for pediatric cancer research etc. He had not one, but two children with brain tumors. I read that and it's like, my heart breaks. For this man who has to endure hell with two of his beloved... and the fact that in theory, we could be halfway to his hell. I know it's sooo unlikely, but it's a unique feature of our little fam.
Anyhoo, we finally got the word yesterday, results well within normal range. Holy shit. I almost started to cry when I got the email. The weight I felt come off of me was huge.
So we are done with NB 'peace of mind' measures. We will just do our best to raise a healthy, happy little boy. I can't take the stress. There I said it.
Onto less dramatic happenings, we attempted Santa last night. Paudie was not having any of him. But when John sat down next to Santy, all was right with the world and we got an awesome picture. I will scan and post at some point.
So there you have it. 2008 is winding down and all in all, it's been quite a year. Some not so great things, and some really special moments. But we're in such a different place than we were two years ago, I really shant complain...
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