Tuesday, May 27, 2008

putting our winter life away


Wow, Paudie's hat really looks kinda crazy in this photo huh? This was taken yesterday at the playground near our house. He loves the swing. Too bad I can't upload a soundtrack to this snap because it would be the sound of pure and unadulaterated joy.
Paudie had a head cold this past weekend. That's the best we can come up with to explain his out of control behavior at night when he was meant to be sleeping. There was no sleep Friday night, there was some sleep Saturday night. There was lots of crying and downward dog and attempts at crawling and fits of sleep in unusual positions. He had a runny nose and John had been sick so we are hoping he was just dealing with feeling icky.
At one point this weekend the sun caught Paudie's face a bit odd - or perhaps it was the angle I was looking at him - and his eye appeared black to me. I think I almost dropped him in a manic state of shock. Then it passed and as much as I stared, I could not see the blackness again. It was scary, surreal. A flashback. It's like I have worked so hard to convince myself IT can't happen again and in that moment it was indeed happening again. Maybe it was my mind playing tricks on me. Whatever it was, it was cruel.
Paudie is eating better - actually starting to devour the foods he likes (bananas, plums, prunes) - granted I wish he were devouring veggies, but I'd rather have him chow on fruits with much gusto than spend time trying to pry his mouth open and have nasty gagging fits that lead to barfing. He still has no teeth. In fact, the one iots of tooth he did have poking through the gum line appears to have retreated. The crawling effort is advancing. He is officially creeping around and rocking on all fours with his butt up in the air just raring to go. I can't believe he is going to be nine-months old. Being with him makes me the happiest I've ever been which is like mega happy since the grief of losing Cian recalibrated my mood barometer. He's an angel, pure and simple.

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