Paudie has taken a few tumbles lately and it's really distressing. It's easy for seasoned parents to say things like - he's going to fall down, don't worry - but this is how my mind works:
Paudie falls and bumps his head
Paudie gets a bruise or lump on his head
I am calm at first and intellectually udnerstand the cause and effect
I eventually flip out that Paudie has brain tumor activity
Because I have the experience of literally watching tumor grow on Cian's skull overnight, bumps and lumps really scare the shiz out of me.
So that is why Paudie falling inspires panic. Because I DON'T want to go there. Because I don't WANT to go there. Because I don't want to go THERE. Get it?
Paudie still has no teeth. Still can't really crawl either. He just gets really frustrated. His grabbiness is still everpresent. And he's getting loud. Oh, and he hates food. Except for bananas and yobaby yogurt. Anything else mushed or mashed = gagging = masive vomit. Some days I worry he isn't going to put on weight, other days I know it will happen and we can't try and force the situation. I just wish I could experience the joy of watching him really chow down. It's no fun stalking your child with a spoon.
We're almost to the 8 month mark - another milestone. Though I did have a flash of craziness in BJ's last night as we were buying 3 cans of formula. I actually had one of those thoughts like, will he still be here in three weeks? It went as quickly as it came, but clearly I have some more healing to do...
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