beach babe

Okay so yeah that's a crappy picture and yeah it was taken with a camera phone - you wanna make something of it? Damn, why can't I get decent photos uploaded? We got our camera back last weekend but getting the snaps off of the memory card is a whole different story. Damn I am a crappy mom for this stuff. I would never do for a Parents magazine type article. I must improve my mommyness!

This was taken Monday at Wollaston Beach - yes we live 3 blocks from the beach and September 1st was our only family beach trip for the summer. Losers! Paudie had fun, trying to chase the seagulls, flirt with the lifeguards and play with a little boy sitting next to us. Or rather, ruin said little boy's beach time by attempting to take all of his toys from him.

Sunday is Paudie's bday and of course we are probably going to get rained out. Twenty-someodd people in a 1920s colonial - good times! Anyhoo, it will be fun no matter. We are very excited to have made it through the first year, one that was largely uneventful, in a good way. To celebrate his big day, we had a portrait taken - I was a anxiety ridden stage mom. He was incredibly charming and poseur like, but I felt all this pressure for him to perform. Yuck. A whole new side of me emerged. I must squash her.

We are gearing up for Paudie to start daycare on the 15th. He had a visit there earlier this week and I was happy to hear that he jumped right into the mix with the others, though there was an incident involving another boy and a red car that basically mowed Paudie down, to the chagrin of John and the daycare provider. Paudie was quite upset. He's really gonna have to grow some thick skin I think. We shall see... I hope it all works out (for all of us).

Reflecting back on the past few weeks, Paudie had a blast, spending lots of time with his dad, his new babysitter Kate, and lots of family from upstate NY and Ireland who came to visit him. He is also starting to really mingle with his 3 cousins who live nearby - I think his ability to walk, and destroy, has made him a real person in their eyes.

A full account of the bday along with photos will be posted next week - oh yes they will.

As I am getting ready to close this posting out, it occurrs to me I failed to acknowledge that the 24th marked the two-year anniversary of Cian's cancer diagnosis, aka, the worst day of my life. I think people are often surprised to hear that I view diagnosis as harder to cope with than the day he actually died, but it is true. I had accepted his death was an eventuality in my lifetime in the weeks leading up to his passing - his diagnosis on the other hand was a freight train out of nowhere. It's a very hard anniversary to deal with - and these 7 weeks in between the anniversary of his death aren't exactly easy either - I think that's why we have Paudie to celebrat right smack dab in the middle. He continues to keep us going... I wish Cian were physically here on Sunday to sing to him, but there is no denying his spiritual presence in Paudie's life...