done and done.

I know there is a little over a week to go in 2010, but today's title sums up how I am feeling, even if a little premature. I'm just done. This applies to work, this applies to shopping, this applies in lots of other ways. But if I reflect back over the past 51 weeks, I do have to say that 2010 was one of our better years. Things really went off as they were planned without too many flies getting all gunked up in our ointment. New baby, vacations on the Cape and Ireland, healthy families. Lots of good stuff that I don't feel weird or full of myself saying we really deserved.

God almighty I hope I am not dooming myself by saying all of this. So sad that's how my mind works, the superstition.

Tomorrow we rise at an ungodly hour to drive ourselves, the kids, the dog and lots of other stuff to upstate NY. I have to admit, I feel slightly giddy. I am so excited to see Paudie's reaction to the Christmas spread and to each of his gifts. I hope he can savor them but fully expect him to rip and toss paper, repeat. I am already thinking of how sad it is to be a little kid and have Christmas be over. It's sort of minor-depression inducing, at least it was for me.

So I'll end this last post for 2010 by saying thanks to God, the cosmos, karma etc etc. It's hard for me to bask too much though as my mind is still processing the bad things/good people reality from last week's post. My wish for 2011 is that some measure of peace and understanding can be found by those whose hearts are heavy right now, even if that grace is fleeting. Life isn't fair and it's that cruel reality that sends me home each night hugging and praising my children a little more intensely than the day before. I'll never be all that I could have been because of Cian's death, but the perspective I have gained doesn't feel as heavy as it once did.

Merry Christmas to everyone. Like the commercial says, give thanks for the healthy kids in your life and give to those who are not. Now that's a great little tag line.