i changed. forever.
a room actually spun.
my son was nearly lifeless.
i had my first ambulance ride.
i saw my husband weep.
i felt both suicidal and homicidal.
i learned my son had cancer.
he got a balloon.
a nurse made me tea.
i laid awake on a pleather resource room couch all night.
i cried so hard.
i knew my son was going to die.
i actually thought - this isn't happening.
but it was. and it did.
today i am mom to another little boy.
he woke up damn near exuberant today, as if so say:
i'm here and i'm not going anywhere.
i'm healthy.
i'm a legacy.
today will be normal.
i miss the me of august 23 2006. the one who thought everything was going to be okay, no matter what the obstacle. it's hard to lose your optimism.
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