Yes, I did start this blog a year ago with the intention that I would document every iota of young Padraig's life. Paudie drooled today! Paudie got his fifth tooth today!! mmmm not so much. What is wrong with me? Why can't I be better at this? Ugh. I guess I should be happy I have the entries I do as this is basically his baby book. Yarp, didn't do one of those either. I can't figure out why the death of Cian didn't inspire me to be more on top of things with Paudie. It's like it has had the opposite effect which I didn't really expect. But in my heart I know the truth. It's an ugly truth. But as the overused and overexposed expresstion goes... it is what it is.
And that is: that I just love Padraig more. Isn't that horrible? I liken it to a person who has a near death experience. They come out on the other side appreciating their life that much more. So in the case of Cian, I of course loved him - truly, madly and deeply. But that wasn't enough I guess. In the case of Paudie, I don't obsess over the small things. I just focus on loving him more than I ever thought possible. In some ways it would be easier to focus on a baby book.
So there you have it, the secret agony of a bereaved mom. Happy New Year!
Okay I'll move on to the mundane now and stop with the drama. We had a good Christmas. Celebrated with my family in NY. Paudie got some gifts he really loved - mini animal crackers were a hit, as were the plastic velcro-y veggies, a soft lounge chair like they have in daycare and a cart of toy cleaning items (okay so it's a pretend janitor cart that they boy is crazy about). Kota the dinosaur? Well that is going to take some time.
Then we had my best friend's wedding in Rhode Island on New Year's Eve. My niece came with us and stayed in the hotel with Paudie - I was nervous he would have issues. But it alll went off without a hitch. So we had a great night out (and hangovers for two days) and Paudie got to bond with his very responsible cous for a few days.
Daycare is going really well at the moment. Napping appears to no longer be an issue. And the bottle situation? Done and done. No more bottles. That was a resolution we had for 2009 and by day 2, conquered. Paudie is tops.
Tooth 6 is finally appearing - and possible 7 and 8. So nights have been rough. He is finally saying 'mama' with some consistency (and semi-accuracy). Other words are appearing as well - doggy, no, and 'get down' of course. That continues to be repeated a lot, particularly since climbing on top of the diner booth in our kitchen is his new obsession. He was also clearing a shelf of frames on a regular basis so John finally broke down and moved them to above our window molding. He was using his drill to secure them when low and behold, Master Paudie appeard with his toy drill to help out. I love those moments, the ones where it's like, he gets it! He knows what his drill is! Then he was walking around trying to hang greeting cards on the wall. Too cute.
So there you have it. 2009 is happening and it isn't so bad.
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It is maddeningly easy to write in moments of stress, anxiety, fear and sadness...and harder to find updates when life is good (I know understand why the lyrics to so many songs are about heartache and loss). I subscribe to your feed from this website and while I like to read about Paudie I am glad that your posts are infrequent since I take it to mean things are well with you, your husband, and your son.
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